In honor of Sandwich Generation month, and as we end our week of tribute to Sandwiched Boomers, we have one last recommendation - the new blog by journalist Jane Gross - www.NewOldAge.blogs.nytimes.com.

The New York Times, in describing the New Old Age:

"Thanks to the marvels of medical science, our parents are living longer than ever before. Adults over age 80 are the fastest growing segment of the population, and most will spend years dependent on others for the most basic needs. That burden falls to their baby boomer children, 77 million strong, who are flummoxed by the technicalities of eldercare, turned upside down by the changed architecture of their families, struggling to balance work and caregiving, and depleting their own retirement savings in the process.

In The New Old Age, Jane Gross explores this unprecedented intergenerational challenge and shares the stories of readers, the advice of professionals, and the wisdom gleaned from her own experience caring for her late mother in her waning years."

Consider this a valuable new resource for you and your family. Jane speaks from her own experience in caring for her mother - one of her first posts was 'what I wish I'd done differently.' The information on the blog is pertinent and current - in the first two weeks of posting, she has already covered the car key situation and long term insurance. And the blog is definitely resonating for readers - there were 693 comments on the day Jane wrote about 'our parents, ourselves.' Do yourself a favor and check it out - let us know what you find helpful in your own quest.

There's a fair amount of attention being paid to Sandwich Generation month on the Internet. And that got us thinking about how overwhelming it can be especially in times of family crisis - a parent diagnosed with Alzheimer's, an adult child out of work and moving back home - to wade through tons of material just to be informed.

Stress resulting from information overload is the order of the day. So let us tell you about a service that has been extremely useful to us - it called Google Alerts. It's a innovative time-saving tool that will save you hours of repeating the same topic search over and over again. You can have articles brought to your attention with little effort on your part.

What are they? Google Alerts are email updates of the latest relevant Google results, whether on the web or in the news, based on your choice of query or topic - for example, Sandwiched Boomers, aging parents, empty nest, boomerang kids.

To get connected to this free service, just go to Google and search for Google Alerts. Fill out the form with your particular requests - the subject you want to monitor, the search terms, how often you want to be alerted and your email address where messages are to be sent. You will be introduced to Internet resources, both personal and academic, and your job will be to focus on the material that is most helpful to your particular circumstances. And let us know once you've tried it.

Research indicates that, for members of the Sandwich Generation dealing with their aging parents, support is very important. Yesterday, readers wrote posts about the people who are there for them - siblings, gerontologists, caregivers, support groups, community resources.

You don’t have to do it alone – secure help, even if it is over your mom or dad's objections, and get support systems in place. Reach out, create a network, hire someone to assist your parents as often as you think is necessary. Betty was frantic about making arrangements for her dad after his stroke. “I was so relieved when I was introduced to the hospital discharge planner. Her expertise and kindness made the move to a rehabilitation center almost bearable.”

Some nonprofit organizations nationwide offer free services or financial grants for respite care for family members who provide most of the care to their chronically ill elders. The federal government, through the National Family Caregiver Support Program, provided funds for respite care to over 190,000 families in 2004. To learn if there is a program in your local community, go online to Eldercare.gov and look for the Eldercare Locator, or call 1-800-677-1116.

Be forthright with your family. Engage your siblings in the problems and the solutions. Ask for practical help and delegate responsibilities. The value is immeasurable when everyone is willing to set aside personal agendas and work together toward collective goals.

A Sandwiched Boomer wrote on yesterday's comments that she's planning to move her aging mother in with the family as a way to take better care of both of them - more loving arms for mom, although some loss of independence, and less stress on herself as she'll be right there when her mom's not doing well.

Another reader discussed the plans she and her husband have made for themselves because they don't have children to help care for them - that is, moving to another country where they can afford to hire caregivers.

Both of these women are faced with making challenging and emotional decisions, despite how different they are. For years we have been working with clients in our practices, struggling with issues that involve their aging parents. But it was still a shock when the problems that accompany aging hit home in a personal way with our own parents - it looks a whole lot different close up.

Our advice is to do your homework sooner rather than later, even if your parents are still healthy and vital. If this is an uncomfortable subject to broach, start slow and ease into it. Your parents deserve to be included in making decisions that directly affect their lives. Know that information is power. And if this situation is not personal for you today, it will be some day.

You know, as a Sandwiched Boomer, that July is your special month. Sandwich Generation Month, officially registered with the National Special Events Registry, is now an annual observation. It's a chance to bring families together and heighten understanding of the special needs of this cohort.

Carol Abaya coined the term Sandwich Generation in the early 1990's. Finding no available resouces when her parents - in their late 80's - needed care, she decided to dedicate herself to advising midlife adults.

Now, over 15 years later, as the groundswell of Baby Boomers gray and live longer, there are serious issues that need to be addressed. U.S. Census Bureau statistics indicate that the number of older Americans aged 65 or older will double by the year 2030, to over 70 million. So we have an urgent need, once again, to educate and support caregivers who are maintaining multi-generational families.

This week, as we focus on complex issues - preserving out parents' dignity as they need more care, staying connected to our growing children, paying attention to our own personal needs - please share your thoughts, concerns and ideas.

Did you know that July is Sandwich Generation month? It was established last year as the official month celebrating the dedication and patience of those who are squeezed between raising growing children and actively caring for their aging parents. According to the Pew Research Center, just over 1 of every 8 Americans aged 40 to 60 falls into this definition of a Sandwich Generation member. In addition, there are 7 to 10 million adults caring for their elders from a long distance.

Are you a Sandwiched Boomer, struggling daily and exhausted from your family caregiving duties? Become aware of the support options available to you and reach out for help.

Ask for what you need from your family members and seek out professionals for their expertise and guidance. You don't have to do everything yourself. Let your spouse, children and siblings know exactly how you feel, what you want from them, and how they can do their share.

Recognize that it is healthy to receive as well as to give. Taking help when it is offered doesn't diminish your abilities. Accept and integrate the admiration that others express for you. Relish the gratitude and love that your partner, parents and children demonstrate.

As you decide to take better care of yourself, you will discover the strength to find balance in your life. Develop a firm core of self-fullness - it will sustain you as you continue to nurture your growing and changing family.

How often do you give yourself a gift? As a Sandwiched Boomer, you owe it to yourself to plan ways to increase your self-fullness. What present would give you some pleasure? Here are some ideas:

Develop personal stress relievers to counteract the burnout that at times overwhelms you. Practice techniques of deep breathing, relaxation or your own form of meditation. Begin an exercise program that you will enjoy - commit to a schedule at the gym or take in the great outdoors, walking with a friend, biking in the neighborhood, hiking in the countryside on weekends.

Give yourself the gift of laughter - look for humor in your daily life, share a funny movie or television show with a friend, participate in activities that bring you joy. After you read the news section of your daily paper, turn to the Comics page to lighten your mood and release endorphins. Recent studies have found that a positive mood creates the atmosphere for better decision-making.

As a member of the Sandwich Generation, its up to you to make time for yourself the same way you manage to care for all of those around you. Tomorrow we'll look at how you can get some help in this process.